i am currently sitting in a class taught by my faculty advisor. you may be wondering how i am getting away with such a blatant act of disrespect. it is quite a simple answer, really. he still does not know my name.
instead of paying attention and engaging in his shallow attempts at facilitated class discussion i have used this class time to:
-purchase a groupon to a vegan indian restaurant
-apply for a job
-check on the status of my EdD apps
-chastise a friend on facebook
-edit a personal statement for a friend’s student
-set up a behavior meeting
-convince my mother to buy me a wii
i suppose you can determine for yourself which is most useful.
the other day i engaged in a rather hilarious conversation with my younger brother, via bbm, the most elite form of conversation. i will refer to my brother as joel, a nickname i fondly gave him due to his uncanny likeness to joel grey when in stage makeup.
joel: what do you want for christmas?
me: to get into a doc program.
joel: yeah, can’t help with that.
me: i don’t know then. what do you want?
joel: uggh, i’m so hard to shop for.
me: let’s reconvene at a later date.
joel: i’m on the ikea shuttle right now. the driver just played “wasn’t me” followed by “the thong song”.
me: sounds like the driver is having a life crisis. you should play him or her “everything will be alright”.
joel: of course you would say him or her.
me: i knew you would say that. i intentionally excluded a gender neutral pronoun.
joel: it’s so hard to keep up with the lingo!
me: i know. i had to write an entire section clarifying use of pronouns just so i could write my literature review.
joel: poor mar.
me: my life is so hard. [crying emoticon]
joel: i’ve never seen that emoticon before!
me: it’s my “i just don’t understand your gender but i’m really trying” emoticon.
joel: i’m literally loling on the ikea bus.
me: ps, i literally saw the definition of a breeder at the supermarket yesterday. she had four babies and one in the oven. literally had one cart for kids and one cart for groceries.
joel: ahhh procreation!